"If I could relive my life, I would devote my entire ministry to reaching children for God!" ~Dwight L. Moody, evangelist
I've been in several discussions lately regarding children's ministry. Anyone who knows me knows that this is where my heart is - I'm a homeschool mom, for goodness sake! but I've really been giving it a lot of thought lately and thought it would be helpful, at least for me, to collect my thoughts on the topic.
As is always the case, it really all comes down to Jesus, so that's a good place to start. There's an account in the gospels of a time when Jesus had children and mothers with babies clamoring to be near him. The disciples were freaked out by it and started to shoo the children away - to shut them up. (And yes, I'm reading a bit into this passage, but this is how I see it and I don't think I'm off base). Jesus called the disciples down and said "let the children come to me". (It's a popular picture in children's Bibles and flannel graph boards... I'm sure you've seen it). Furthermore, Jesus used the children as an example of what we should be! We should come to Him like a child goes to a loving daddy. I honestly can't imagine children wanting to be around a man who told them to sit down and shut up while He preached to their parents. He must have been ministering to them or they wouldn't have wanted to be there. In our churches, we should be ministering to the children like Jesus did, not telling them to sit down and shut up as the disciples were rebuked for doing.
And I know that traditionally in our culture, children have been expected to do just that - sit down and shut up, be seen and not heard. And traditionally, I suppose that worked (if it didn't, we wouldn't still be expecting this of them). But the fact is, our culture has changed! If churches want to stay relevant and reach future generations, we need to change too (within the limits set by scripture, of course). Children have many things in the culture "ministering" to them now that weren't around 100 years ago (or even 20 years ago in some cases). There are sports teams, scouts, video games... the list goes on and on. And if a child has the choice between hanging out with friends and having fun at a little league game or sitting down and shutting up during, what is to them, a boring sermon with boring hymns, guess what they'll choose! And all too often, the parents go right along with them. I'm not saying that's right or wrong; I just calls it like I sees it. (And of course, you'll always have your hardcore church people who will be there, kids in tow, no matter what's going on outside. But are we a museum for good people or a hospital for the broken? We need to reach them! Not please ourselves.)
Aaaand then it gets personal. What would my life have been like if I'd been ministered to as a child? And I don't mean with Sunday school flannel graph (although that's not necessarily bad if used in the right way); I mean really ministered to. If I had been introduced to the loving, fun God that I know now. If I had a youth leader who really spoke to my life, who lovingly and honestly told me why I shouldn't sleep with my boyfriend instead of going on "Marilyn Manson is a bad man" tangents. If I hadn't hated church so much that I snuck away when I could and eventually stopped coming at all. Of course, all the choices I made were my own. But if I'd known better, would I have thought more before making those choices? Maybe, maybe not. But I absolutely don't want to take that chance with the next generation as a whole, or with my own precious children, specifically. I want to (personally and collectively as a church body) do anything and everything I can to spare those children the pain that I went through as a youth/young adult (that I still deal with the ramifications of today), and ultimately the torment of Hell! Will some still make bad choices? Of course! But I'll be damned if I'm going to tell them to sit down and shut up and hope that they come to me or the church when life gets rough. I will love them to the glory of God and minister to them in any way that I can so that when life gets rough, they already know the answers and know that they can trust God, the church, and me to help them through it.
I'm afraid that some people who know me have the idea that I'm for children's ministry to get my own kids out of my hair during church. I won't deny that sometimes that's the case! But at the heart of the matter, it couldn't be further from the truth. I'm honestly not what you'd call a "kid person" but God has really given me a heart for the children in the church (yeah, he equips the called... go figure...) Growing up in our culture is not easy! The church really needs to draw the children near and help them through it for the well being of their souls, their futures and for the next generation of church kids.
"There can be no keener revelation of a society's soul than the way in which it treats its children." ~Nelson Mandela
4 comments:
So I agree that the church should minister to children more, I hesitate to blame the church all of it. If you want Godly children, then you need Godly parents. Because, if they are getting "fed" at home, then they will probably get "fed" at church. I think Children's church is a great thing, because I don't want people's rowdy kids interrupting what I'm trying to take in. That being said, Children's church, and youth events need to cater to the children, and hopefully be meaningful. I think that's where the real problem is, you set up a program to minister to children, and they color instead of being taught. Again that comes down to parents really wanting their children to be Godly. They should demand that their children be taught something in Children's church.
I can agree with you there! The parents do bear the bigger part of responsibility for their own children, but the church is responsible too. We shouldn't be just giving the kids coloring pages (and nothing else) until someone steps up and demands otherwise... we should hold ourselves accountable too. At any rate, in my post I'm referring more to churches who don't have children's ministry (like Mt. P was when I was growing up) or what's worse in my mind, churches who refuse to take any part in it because the kids "should be capable of sitting still with their parents, being quiet, and learning from the sermon." :insert eye roll here:
I do not necessarily disagree with either of you, but I would like you to entertain another idea:
http://www.generationcedar.com/main/2010/02/families-worshipping-together-why-not-childrens-church.html. Julie I really agree with you. It is extremely important if we have Children's Church that the teachers be gifted and dedicated. In fact, it'd be great if the Children's Church could be coordinated with the morning Adult worship in scripture and content. That way children would learn about why we do church the way we do the adults could discuss the scriptures with their children (don't know whether to laugh or roll my eyes on that statement).
It is extremely frustrating as a teacher to see older children and adults that have no clue about the old stories of scripture, the hymns of the faith and where and what the Books of the Bible are and topping it off ~ they really don't care. This is parental failure, not church failure. Just when is it appropriate for children to sit in worship with the "grown ups"? What I am seeing is that once they are in Jr. High or High School they are sitting 6 -8 hours a day in school but sit in church without a Bible chewing their nails and daydreaming instead of listening or participating in worship. Is it because milk and fun is all they know?
Worshiping our God is an honor and privilege. Our children should witness their parents enjoyment from time to time.
I'm sorry you had such a terrible experience, Heather. I suspect there was much more behind that than the way the church was (is). But you did come to Christ and you are attempting to follow Him, as we all are. Your children will have an easier time of it, as you teach them in at your table in your home. They will appreciate the church based on your attitude toward it.
I like the idea of families worshiping together. Really I do. But it seems to me that "sit down and shut up" by any other name is still "sit down and shut up". And I agree that worship is a privilege. But if the parents aren't enjoying it (and we can't assume that the parents are enjoying it), should we also condemn their children to hating it? Or maybe it's a matter of finding a church who's worship style is one that you can enjoy so that the children can pick up on that? Or maybe we just need to stop making excuses and do what we can to reach people whether it's "orthodox" or not, whether famous pastors agree or not, whether it's the "way we've always done it" or not.
It is hard to teach children accurate stories of scripture and books of the Bible. Those are things that I'm still learning now! And to teach them to children, you really have to go above and beyond. As far as the hymns though, I still really don't care and I don't think that makes me any less of a Christian. Those hymns weren't around when Jesus was nor were they around when the early church started. They are cultural and if you like them great, if not leave them. That's my opinion on it. (Although the writers of those hymns, much like the famous missionary stories, have amazing testimonies and are very worth reading whether or not you want to sing the hymns). And honestly, when I was in high school, I spent the time chewing my nails, reading what I wanted to and daydreaming, so church was no different, except that it wasn't as long. I stand by the fact that if we don't reach out to them we lose them.
And your certainly right... the church wasn't to blame for my problems. I just wonder if they couldn't have helped more than they did. (In fact, before I stopped coming to church, I was excluded from a number of youth trips/activities because I was a bad banana. No one ever talked to me about it at all, just left me out and shunned me. There must be a better way!) Maybe not... it's just as likely that I'd have been a bad banana with or without encouragement from the church. Either way, I have no interest in leaving it to chance with my kids.
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