Recently I was told by a well-meaning loved one that if "someone" (meaning me) couldn't afford to have children, they (meaning me) need to stop having them. I took this kind of hard because, among other reasons, I am already quite obviously expecting another child (which is apparently being viewed as a sheer burden and mistake by this loved one) and because I personally would love to have at least one more in the future. I love my children and take good care of them. I consider them blessings. And I take seriously God's command to be fruitful. To be honest, I really felt that this person was out of line! When my husband and I, taking guidance from God, decide that "enough is enough," we will certainly not be having any more children. Until then, we're happy to welcome all the miracles that He blesses us with.
The thing is, there are a lot - and I mean a lot - of reasons, biblically speaking, to have children. But I have not been able to find any reasons not to. Sure, the world can come up with plenty of reasons... but we, as Christians, are not to conform to the world. So what's the deal? Why are well-meaning, Godly people encouraging us to make our decisions for worldly reasons?
First off, I can only imagine that this was spoken to me out of love. Misguided, yes. But loving, nonetheless. It is difficult to watch those whom you love struggle. And we sure do struggle! I was told once by a very dear friend that God has given my family the "gift of poverty." That really stuck in my mind because it's a very weird and profound thing to say. But the more I've thought about it, the more truth I see in it. Would life be easier if we had more money? Yes, of course it would! But there are a lot of blessing that come out of being poor (and obviously since I'm on the internet, I mean "poor" by American standards only).
(Here, I started to make a list of reasons that I feel blessed in our poverty, but it kind of took over the entire blog. Apparently that is one to write sometime, but in the interest of staying on topic, let it suffice to say that the way we live has many positive aspects.)
And if we had money, I'm sure that we would be able to see blessings that we can't see in our current situation. Jesus enables us to have abundant life no matter what our circumstances, and I'm so thankful for that. The way we live is not to be scorned or pitied. We are happy, we are blessed, and we love the Lord. What could be more important than that??
I would never, ever base the size of our family on our finances. "If it's God's will, it's God's bill" and He always takes care of His bills. Why should I reject a blessing because I don't think it will work? Who am I? God is in the business of accomplishing the impossible and I have full faith that He will continue to do the impossible in our budget and in our lives. Money will come and go, and that's fine, but our children will always be blessings from the Lord.
So basically, as I see it, the primary reason for a Christian person to advise a Christian family to stop having children and raising up more Christians to fill the earth simply because of their finances, is fear. The reason is fear! Even if love or concern seems to be a motivator on the surface, fear is the bottom line. Fear of taking a step out in faith - or of watching us do so! But fear is not of God. If we're afraid, it means we don't trust Him, and that's definitely not cool. And honestly, our step of faith is really nothing to fear, because it is practically nothing at all compared to so many, many others. To paraphrase Francis Chan, think about our story in light of the book of Acts: thousands were converted, the Gospel was being boldly preached to the nations, people were performing miracles in Jesus' name, men were martyred for their faith, and the Comer's had a baby that just wasn't in their single-income budget...
Really?? This act of faith and obedience is just nothing. I do hope and pray that our lives can be a good witness and example for others in our situation. And I pray that our lives glorify God, whatever else we may do. But please don't act like what we're doing is crazy or extreme. And please don't think that my life is some haphazard series of financially stupid mistakes. God sees the biggest picture and He is in control. He doesn't make mistakes. And He will always take care of my husband and I and however many children He chooses to bless us with.
"As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" ~Joshua 24:15
2 comments:
Great post, Heather! I would personally love to have as many Comers in this world as possible, and I couldn't be happier for you. It's great that you're brave enough to put your lives in God's hands. Things seem to have been working out so far. You have two gorgeous little ones and another one on the way!
I'd also like to say that if half the people in this world waited to do things until they had sound financial footing, nothing would get done. I would have never went to college or graduate school, I wouldn't have married Addam and we would never even think about having kids. You have to jump sometimes.
Post a Comment